Drunken mess

I figured since I rarely get drunk it might be fun to try and remember the embarrassing moments that go along with being intoxicated. Please do not judge me, actually please do.

I remember the first time I got drunk I was 15. I was a late bloomer when it came to drinking. My cousin who lived with us told me to ask a friend to buy us some alcohol. Which was stupid since my parents keep lots of liquor on hand. Anyways, I knew this guy from a friend's girlfriend's uncle's step dad's neighbors' babysitter......or something ridiculous like that. First of all, any guy who is 22 and hooking up a 15 year old with drinks needs to reevaluate their life. The dude showed up with a variety of alcohol and since I did not know my limits I just drank, drank, drank and drank. Eventually it hit me and I was like "HEY EVERYONE! I AM DRUNK!". I don't think I said that though. I ended up drunk dialing a bunch of people. Oh and here comes the kind of sad part. I was pretty much going to be raped that night by that douche. Luckily my step brother came in and told the guy to piss off. My older brother came home and I cried the whole night. I felt like a horrible person and when my parents found out I felt even worse. From that point I had random buzz nights but never drunk nights. I have always been paranoid since the near foreign P entering my delicate V uninvited incident.

The next really drunk night I remember was in Oregon. I bought two bottles of vodka and drank a lot of it. I am kind of in love with vodka and sprite since my brother-in-law introduced me. I was actually calm and collected except I don't remember anything besides getting the spins and throwing up in a forever 21 bag. I woke up and my dad was cleaning up my puke. Dad, if you are reading this I LOVE YOU! New year's eve was a fun one. We went to this place called Bar Pink and if you take me there be prepared for me to say sneaky tiki 500 times. I enjoyed quite a few drinks and felt really good. Apparently I tried to make out with one of our friends but she was taller than me so I just kept kissing her chin. Yeah, that is still embarrassing. By far the worst was this past valentines day, OH GAWD. This night included other elements besides just alcohol. I was dancing and felt fine but then BAM! it hit me and it hit me hard. I couldn't focus and 10 minutes felt like an hour. I ended up getting tired and sitting on the floor. I had to get out of there because I didn't want to get everyone kicked out. I got home and Tim bought me rolled tacos which I wanted to eat but I felt like I couldn't move. Also, it was like 11 by the time we got home. Needless to say, I don't take drinking easily because I am tiny and it doesn't take much to get me trashed. If you do want to make fun of me just take me out with my brother-in-law. He will get me drunk without breaking a sweat.

For your enjoyment here are some pictures of me drinking/being drunk.

New year's eve. That's me on the right.

A couple weekends ago. Not drunk but buzzed.

I don't think I am drunk in this picture but I look like it.