I recently went to a local casino with my mother and grandmother to play some slots and dick around in general. I have only been to a casino once before and left empty handed. I had this crazy idea that I was going to win a crap ton of money this time around. I shouldn't have gone in with that mentality because that obviously doesn't happen to anyone(especially some lame white girl from out of town). Instead you find yourself stuck at a slot machine that is related to some movie you love. This is why I was stuck at 3 different machines; Sex and The City, Star Wars and Little Shop Of Horrors. I didn't get jack from any of these machines but it was still fun to go on a Jedi training with Yoda when you hit a sequence of symbols. Those skanks from SATC screwed me over and took a bunch of my money. Thanks Miranda, Charlotte, Samantha, Carrie and Big......especially Mr. Big. He was always kind of an asshole to begin with. Another thing that probably cursed me was the amount of smoke in that place. Ive never been around so many smokers. Its disgusting. However, many of these smokers were making bank so maybe that's why people pick up smoking to begin with. Even though I was losing money and smelling rank, I was enjoying people watching. You have your classic smokers as mentioned above but you have the token Filipino wives who wants "ONE MORE DOLL-A!" from their husbands, old ladies who no longer see there kids and can't find anything better to do, the scummy guy dressed up like he is made of money but is probably just there to creep out chicks but mainly all you see is fat people*. My favorite sighting of the day was this woman who sat down next to me and automatically started breathing heavily. It was some workout walking 50 feet from one slot machine to another. I wouldn't of paid attention but I kept smelling BBQ sauce lingering around me which I don't mind but I thought it was this ladies sweat and not really BBQ sauce. Anyways, it was BBQ sauce and onion rings which I admit is a great combo so kudos to her for knowing how to combine two delicious things. The funniest part of this whole thing is the fact that her onion rings got their own seat. Some people came by to sit down and she would be like "OH HAI THERE, ONION RINGZ BE SITTING HURR". She didn't really say that but it was obvious that the seat was taken by a Styrofoam container. I left the machine and went to tell my mom about one of the funniest casino things I have seen(like I said this is my 2nd time to a casino) to which she laughed. I then thought I needed to get a picture of this and knew I was a horrible person for wanting to do so. That of course didn't stop me and my mom said I was a bad person. I am not objecting that at all.
For the record that is a Star Wars slot machine and I was the only nerd in the joint to sit there and play it the whole time. Eventually Godzirra came to join me later which was a bummer cause I only got to do Jedi training once :(
Anyways, I went in with $200 and left with $100. Only $100 of it was mine, my mom supported my future addiction by giving me $100. THANKS MA!
*I am sorry for sounding like a horrible person and keep calling people fat but its the truth. No need to tell me I am going to hell for being insensitive because I already know. K thanks!
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