Booty Calls and Piss

I never had a "booty call" but I have been one before. The sad part is that I didn't even know I was. I think men and women need to set a clear definition of a booty call relationship on the spot. Having someone ask you to get lunch with them which leads to the big S that night and then finding out after 4 months of doing this was all a booty call, well it sucks. That was a big run on sentence and probably didn't make sense but basically being a booty call is weak. This isn't really about me though. I recently spoke with someone about a booty call they currently have. Normally I would be like "yeah, cool, whatever..." but this one was very interesting. So this person recently signed up for plentyoffish.com but I think it was mainly to set up booty calls rather than date someone. Although I don't think that site is made for serious relationships. The name of the site makes me think there is plenty of vajay ready to be smanged*. Anyways....this person went on a date with this chick and came home all smitten which would lead to one believe that he got some. Obviously inquiring minds wanted to know the deets but really I shouldn't have been informed. He went out with this "big" girl and really liked her. I am not saying anything is wrong with big girls but this dude is pretty thin and his definition of big was twisted. Come to find out this chick was 210 pounds. 210 POUNDS!! That's not big, that's fat. Apparently he really likes her and wants to see her again. It baffles me that he would be into fat people. My husband officially labeled him as a "chubby chaser". *sigh* As if the "big" girl wasn't enough, he has a couple other chicks. One that he wants to be just friends with and another he manipulated into writing his college essays. Its pretty entertaining and pathetic that these chicks are that dumb. I probably shouldn't be judging these girls but I am already a bad person and going to hell so why not!

Now onto pissing....

This topic popped into my head the other night when my mom told me our dog pissed his bed and started licking up the pee. Dogs are interesting because we all know pee cannot taste good but they will like that business up. I felt bad for him since he was lounging in his own piss for awhile until my parents woke up and noticed. I find taking a whiz is really crappy for chicks. I hate waking up at 4 am having to pull down my pants and wipe. Its just too much of a hassle. I wish I could pee like a guy. I mentioned this to many of my friends and pitched my new idea. I think they should me a catheter with a penis attached so women can pee much easier. I mean I know a lot of women would not be okay with carrying around a piece of junk in their purse but if it saved you a minute each time it would be worth it. Plus I just want to be able to pee anywhere I want. Technically I could do that as a women but let me tell you that it is not fun to squat and pee without getting it on your clothes or shoes. I tell my husband to go piss in public areas just because he can. I have this mentality that he will not get into trouble by peeing on a restaurant wall or fountain. I watch too much British TV where they pee on anything. I once saw a homeless women standing with her legs spread and just peeing. like straight down. without lifting her skirt. It was impressive and made me realize there isn't anything to be ashamed about when peeing in public. Really though, what happened to my dog sucked. Sorry buddy but I know it probably felt good to get it out. Here is a picture of our pooch just cause he is cute!

*smang is a term that my friend introduced me to after watching this youtube video. You can youtube it and laugh hysterically.